Good News!

Dr. called, I can start my medication again. Everything came back from this morning good.
No follow up treatment needed except to monitor my blood to find the right balance of medication.
I already took a pill!!

I get test results from the gyn on Tues.

Here's a couple pics from the other day.

Driving Goli to chemo on Tues.


and the view driving to my Dr. Appts


Thats the Sears Tower, and to the left is the El - Blue Line

Woke up happy today.
No headache.
Had one for 3 days.
I think it was from inconsistent sleep.
I slept all through the night last night.
FELT GREAT!
No headache, and hungry!
Still have non-fun bathroom visits from stuff I am taking to "flush out my system" the doctors told me to take.
But got out of bed at 10:30...fabulous!
Watched soaps and ate.
After that and a few bathroom visits I was starting to wilt and get tired.
But had an appt to drop Goli off to get is nails and bath done.
Laid down for a bit after I dropped him off until they called me to pick him up.

When I dropped him off he was a big baby.
Acted worse than he does for the vet.
Just really freaked.
So I sat him down in the chair next to me and talked to him softly as we waited our turn, and he crawled over into my lap.
I told the groomers what he had recently been through so they would be extra nice to him. Told him he was a cancer survivor and in remission, they couldnt believe he was 12. I told 'em thats why we did the chemo for him...you can just tell he still has another few more good years in him.
He spazed a little when they tried to take him in the back, so I went with him so he could see me. Told him to be good.

Now he is all fluffy and clean...I love the scent they use on him.
I was afraid he would shit or piss in the store before I got out, and he was tugging me hard out the door, so I grabbed a bag of treats by the counter.....that stopped him dead in his tracks and he turned into obedient dog on the spot. All I had to do was crinkle the bag a little and no more spaz dog. I could actually pay, and sign my name to the recpt without his tugging he just sat all nice and patient. Wowed all the people around us, thinking he was that good all the time. HA!

Listening to Leon Redbone now and drinking the last of the nasty fluid crap thats supposed to flush out my system. Mom just called to check on me.

Got the body scan tomorrow morning 7:30am. Then come home back to bed and wait for the results.

Love you guys!

I think my whole neighborhood just heard me screeching out Journey's - Don't Stop Believing.
I can hear dogs howling......

Full day of Drs.
I am so sleepy.

Dropped the dog off for his chemo, went to Loyola to drink radioactive iodine.
Took a few hours, to register and wait and all that.
It was clear, no taste..just like water, except they stored it in a big lead thing.

I asked if I could be picked up with a Geiger counter, they said "definitely"
COOL! But they didn't know how many rads it would be.

They told me for 4-5 days to not hold anyone to my chest, animal, child.
No spooning or holding Brad close to me either.
Double flush toilets after use.
Try to use disposable plates and utensils.
Not be around pregnant people or animals.
...thats all I can think of at the moment....I wrote it all down.

They said for me to come back on Fri at 7:30am, so they can do body scans of me to see what shows up. If something they dont like shows up, they will know that day and admit me to a hospital for a few days and radioactivate me more which will kill off whatever is left of the cancer.

Then off for my gyno appt.
Brad drove. Lots of traffic, and figuring out where it was and where to park. Did too much walking was tired and hungry. Had time for lunch at Parrots (a bar & grille) across the street from my next appt. Had a hamburger and rested a bit.
Then off to the gyno.

***TMI area for some people***

They did some colopscopy thing that uses vinegar on abnormal cells. And then depending on what color the vinegar mixture turns it tells them what it could be caused by.
I told her I was worried and felt really skanky and gross. I like having women gyn's, not just because they have a vagina, but also because they all know what its like to feel skanky at some time or another. So I know they know what I mean.
She actually reassured me very much, said everything looked good, didnt see much if any abnormal cells, color was good, healthy looking. That made me feel better and less skanky right away. :) In fact she was sure she saw anything wrong, like it might have already come and gone like that female stuff does. But she biopsied anyway for good measure to be sure. She will get the results in on Tues. and call me either way.

I'm glad these appts are over, it was a long day. I was nervous about the biopsy.

Sweet Brad grabbed a wheel chair because we parked at the wrong bldg, and wheeled me to where we needed to go to leave. It was nice, I hadn't gone that fast in so long. Old people pass me in the halls now!!
Drove home in traffic.
Stopped at the store on the way home, and then after 15 minutes it was time for him to go catch a train for his class tonight. Poor Brad.

Im getting ready to go pick up Goli from the vet, and then him & I will lay around and or nap. I am so tired I am giddy.

Taking it easy.
Watching movies.
Rented: Catch Me If You Can (enjoyed it)
Auto Focus (enjoyed it, but liked Catch Me better)
Personal Velocity (liked it, buts its a downer)

I'll do laundry tomorrow. Weeeeeeeee.

Goliath is a whore for dried chick peas.
The Great Garbonzo Bow-wow.

Im tired.
More tired everyday.
But good news....not gonna work next week.
I had Dr. appts all day Tues & Fri anyway, and Monday is a holiday.
But I really don't think I would be able to make it in for Weds & Thurs at this rate.
Yeah, it goes on my vacation days, but nothing else I can do at this point.
And hopefully by the end of next week and can start back up on my thyroid medication.

3 day weekend, and Brad is taking Tues off from work to help me with my Dr. appts in case I need it. I might. But then he will still have time to get to his MBA class that night.

I plan on staying in my PJ's all weekend and doing very very little.

xoxoxo

Had the Dr. appt, he admitted no wrong.
But at least I got everything set up.
Off Monday - holiday
Tues - I drink some iodine stuff at 9am. That afternoon I have the gyn appt.
Work Weds & Thurs.
Off Fri to get a body scan done from the iodine stuff.
They should get the results in that day and should be able to tell me to take the medication by that night. So I can medicate over next weekend to start gaining energy again for work and to live a regular life again.

Then follow up end of August to check my blood, to see if we need to increase the meds or leave them as is.

So I just gotta work Thurs & Fri of this week, and Weds & Thurs of next week.
I think I can do that.

One more week of being off the medication. At least now Brad and my boss know whats going on. I just cant do as much, and takes more for me to focus than usual.

Fear of the unknown is awful. I just needed to know what needed to be done, that what I felt was normal and nothing to worry about, that I was medically ok. I am more at ease now, and can just try and rest up.

Another Dr. Update:

I saw my regular general Dr.
He is a sweetheart.
Summary...besides being run down and cranky I am fine.
There is no danger being off the meds and not monitored.
He also said they should be able to do the iodine thing no matter how the blood results come back. Blood results will be in Thursday afternoon.

There is nothing major they are testing for in my blood that would change anything.
He also reassured me, said I had every right to be angry with how they have handled me. Gave me his card, and another one to give to the Dr tomorrow and to tell him to forward all my records to him since he still hasn't done it. The Dr. today even told me if I need him to intervene he will gladly help out. So the guy totally sweet talked and pacified me today...even rubbed my shoulder and back a lot.
Sounds small...but those little reassuring gestures go along way.
Shows care and compassion, if its heartfelt or not. And means a lot to me.

My blood pressure was very good, I've got some fluid in my ears from the cold I have, but everything else looks fine. Being off the meds for 4 weeks will run me down and totally sap all my energy as it has. He said once I start the meds again I will be better, and within the week of starting them again I should be back to at least 75% of how I normally feel.

He told me to really give it to the guy tomorrow.

So I have my appt tomorrow. I want to pursue talking to him definitely, but I also want to pursue going ahead and doing the iodine thing since thats what I thought the appt was for, and it sounds like there is no reason not to. The only thing is they will want me to come back Fri for a body scan, and then I can start meds again. So maybe since the Fri thing wasnt scheduled they werent sure they could fit me in and thats why they want to put the whole thing off and blaming it on the blood results. TOUGH SHIT! So I will see what I can do tomorrow.

They only thing left I gotta do with this guy is radioactive iodine me up, and then scan it a few days later, and this is only to make sure during the body scan they got all the thyroid and thyroid related lymph nodes out of me since they were all cancerous. Surgically the Dr. was great, and I would expect that he cut everything out. So if they try to put this off....I am saying screw you and going back on the meds, we are done.

I am even more tired today, it seems like everyday I can tell a difference.
I have been trying to do stuff around the house, like putting away laundry, emptying waste cans, grocery shopping, and had the plumber this morning, then on top with Dr. aggravations I AM SO POOPED!!!

I am having a great time though resting my back in front of the computer today using WinMX. Soul Seek hasn't been working for me lately, so now I am using WinMX and HAVING A BALL!!!
Snatching:
Kool Moe Dee
LL Cool J
MC Lyte
Queen Latifah
Grace Jones
Punjabi MC
Lady Saw
De La Soul
Heavy D
Notorious B.I.G.
Doug E. Fresh
& Leon Redbone :)

Dr. Update

The secretary just called me.
Said the Dr. told her to tell me there isn't anything he can do until after he sees the blood test results.

I told her I understood. Asked her to play out the scenario with me. Lets say I get the results in on Friday. Will he come back and say he is on vacation and/or booked in surgeries for another 2 weeks before he can see me? She said once they get the test results they would be able to fit me in the following week for whatever needs to be done.

I asked her why he wont call me. She doesnt know.
I told her I want him to explain to me the different scenarios of what might happen based on the blood results. I wanted him to tell me why we couldnt go ahead and do the iodine thing. Why do I have to twist his arm to get him to talk to me? "I don't know."

His office didn't schedule me properly, didnt even mention any of these procedures I was supposed to be notified of, I dont understand why he can't find a few minutes to do this.

So what we came up with is....I am keeping my 9:30am appt with him tomorrow. And just considering it a clinic appt. That way he is booked to me, I have him, I have his time. So I can finally get him to talk to me.

I have an appt with my general Dr. today and with his office to draw blood. I want to run this by him and see if there is any damage that could be done the longer I stay off the medication, and see if there is anything I could do to make it a little easier on myself that he knows about.

I got through today.
Dr. did not call me back.

I left a voice mail on his secretary's voice mail.
Left her my cell #, told her to have him call me first thing tomorrow morning.
Told her "I am perfectly reasonable in wanting to speak to him for more than 2 minutes of having him tell me his secretary will call. I need to speak to him and reasonably so. I have every reason to be exasperated and irritated. His office failed to communicate with me what needed to be done, they messed up and I want someone talking to me about it NOW. You have no idea how I feel or what I am going through, and how extremely kind I am being under the circumstances. And if you think I am a pain in the ass, you havent dealt with my mother or husband yet. I am doing you the favor by holding them off from calling you directly. So get him to call me first thing tomorrow morning on my cell phone. Thank you."

I have tomorrow off because a plumber is coming over at 7am for a few hours. I have a meeting to dial into at 10:50, and then an appt with my general Dr at 2:30 to get blood drawn and fill him in on whats going on.

Still arguing with the Dr's office.
His secretary called this morning to say to tell me to get blood work done.
I will get blood work done tomorrow at my general Dr's office.

She told me to get the blood work done, wait on the results, and then see what we need to do.

I am not satisfied with this and have demanded he call me and speak to me for more than 2 minutes today explaining what was supposed to be happening, what will be done, and I want a time frame of everything.

I told them I am not gonna wait around on blood work, reschedule everything for I dont know how far out, I am ready to get back on the medication NOW, and I am not waiting.

She then exasperatingly told me she will have him call me.

I slept most of the day resting up so I could go out and see Richard perform at the pageant.

Everybody did really great. Most of the contestants have never been in drag before. They did a fabulous job. Didn't half ass it at all. The outfits were great, they all walked great in heels and had wonderful dance numbers. I had a really great time.
Richard gives a super performance. He really is great. He got a standing ovation.

Here's the pics!
Richard backstage


One of the lovely hostesses


Richard after first performance












The new Queen


Richard after his last performance

Wild day.

It started out by me waking up extra early to go get Brad breakfast to make up with him in sorts. Not that we were in a fight, but just mopey and off a little.
WHITE CASTLE!! :)

I called the Dr. when I got to work.....
I have another small lump on the side of my neck. Small, hard, doesnt hurt....just like the last one. Im trying to remain calm and not become a hypocondriac.....
But whenever it was a lymph node...it hurt....this doesnt, its just there.

And I have been so tired. I cant even begin to express. And I feel like such a baby its embarrassing. Im supposed to be the rough tough cream puff....not some pussy!!!
"How bad is it?"
Its so bad....that my jaw gets tired from just chewing a sandwich.
Yes... I am serious.
Have you ever heard of such a thing?
CRAZY TALK RIGHT???

I walk a block and then want to sit down.
My back hurts, my legs hurts, everything hurts and gives out on me.
I just cannot express it enough.
I mentioned it to Brad and a few people, but people say they are tired and achy all the time. Thats like talking about the weather.
Everything is a hassle for me to do. My head is not all together.
I have had this cold for 3 weeks now.
I thought maybe it just was the cold.
But then things seem to be getting worse and then that lump today!
GAH!!!

He called me back 2 minutes before 5pm.
Seems when I went off the medication to be prepared for this iodine thing they are gonna do, they are supposed to monitor my blood at least weekly, to check my levels of "stuff". This was news to me. So a lot of this is from having no thyroid hormones for a month now, and I have no idea what exactly it is or has done to my body.
He said his secretary will call me on Monday and probably schedule me in on Monday for blood work and then we will go from there. He asked me about some "series" again I didnt know what he was talking about...so there is some other thing I was supposed to be scheduled for. He said his office should had scheduled it based on my charts.
I told him about the lump, and he wants to look at that too.

Oh and I havent even mentioned....because I am so disgusting right now...that thats not all!!
I have "abnormal cells" also showing up in my cervix now! Already had the 2nd pap done and they will probably want to do a biopsy on that too.

I have been making up reasons and excuses to eat inside or very close to my building when having lunch with other people...including Brad.
I cant walk more than just a couple blocks. ITS EMBARRASSING!! So I have just been trying to get around it and not look or sound like an idiot. So when I told Brad all this I just started balling at the train station when I met up with him to go home. Im just so tired and frustrated. And I still dont know ANYTHING except someone will call me and we will figure it out on Monday.

But..good things from today.
-I talked online to a girl in Portugal. It was nice chatting with her, and getting the chance to know her better.

-ITS THE WEEKEND, and I have plans! Going to see my friend Richard at a drag queen pageant tomorrow. He will be turning over his crown to the next queen.
And then Sunday see Gonzo & Jessica over at Jame's place the day after their wedding. Im so happy for them! :)
Might even go see Matrix with them that night.

I'm super busy at work.
Just dropping in.....

Weird Fears:

Bugs crawling on me, and me not being aware of it.
Bug/spiders crawling in my nose, mouth or ears while I sleep, or setting up house inside me.

Falling face forward and loosing teeth.
Hasn't happened yet....but I visualize this one often.
I am not a graceful girl....

Website Weds

Face Composer
Pitfall
Mosquito swatter
Xylophone (Family warning - foul language)

When either Brad or I spot each other with a visible booger, we tell the other one:
"Hey! You got a bat in the cave!"

Things are good.
Goli is doing good too.
That made me happy yesterday.
Bunch of little things.

First no messes to clean up when we got home. HOORAY!
(but we are still gonna buy a steam vac this weekend!)

Then right after we got home he picked up a ball of his.
He hasn't played with any of his toys for about 2 months now.
We even threw the ball and he went after it a couple of times.
Up to this point he had been anti-toy mood.

He ate regular kibble without insisting on stinky canned dog food, or having it mixed in.

We were thrilled.
So we all went out into the back yard with Brad's fishing rod and practice lure (big hard weighted plastic thing). Goli was all over that, chasing it all over the yard everytime Brad would cast out.
He has done this recently but he tired out quickly and stopped running after it and just would wait for it to come in to pounce on it.
But yesterday he chased it everytime, running all over the place, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth panting hard. Even when we stopped, he insisted we do it more, we got tired of it before he did.
God, that made our day....it really did.

We all sat on the sofa together while Brad & I ate turkey sandwiches for dinner, and Goli hopped up next to me, and let me pet him, rub his ears, scratch his head. For some reason before, he didnt want to come up on the sofa or bed with us like he did before.

No messes in the middle of the night. He waited and let me know this morning he had to go. When we came back in, I still had some time before I had to get up, so I went back in bed, and he hopped up on the bed and laid down with me.

Its so nice having my dog back like this again.
2 more chemo appts to go.

My scar.


I had my hair up in knots yesterday

Website Weds

Bush/Gay bar
Pay Phone Directory
Pac Man
Best of Conan & Triumph
Ski game

It really irritates me when I get spam text messages

I'm still a snot head.
I called in sick to work.

I have a bad cold and am going back to bed, again for the 3rd time this morning.
I'm a snot head.
Maybe Brad will take pity and go get me some decongestants....

Dinner at The Pump Room was FABULOUS!!
I think that is the nicest restaurant I have ever been to...even more formal then Spago.
We drank Pelligrino.
They brought us out a small sample of their seared tuna and endives.
I liked that a lot.
Brad picked out sweetbreads for an appetizer.
A plate with chopped apples and dill to one side, and the sweetbreads on the other.
I thought sweetbreads would be like a bread pudding thing.
But it looked like chicken when I took off a piece.
So then I thought the sweetbread part was the breading around it.
Dipped it in sauce and at some.
After I took the last bite of it, he told me what sweetbreads were.....

: the thymus or pancreas of a young animal (as a calf) used for food

I told him he was right not to tell me, I wouldn't have eaten it.
It tasted like chicken to me, but not good white meat, more like the processed stuff you get from bad places. He had a good laugh at me.
It didn't taste bad at all. But was great either, I would never order it again, but I might have a bite if he did.
He also got mussel soup, I tried some of the broth, it was very good.

I got dry aged beef tenderloins with a side of white and green asparagus, and came with some mushroom risotto.
He had the Australian lamb with a side of morels.
We each had a few bites from each others dish.
Everything was wonderful.

Our waiter (actually called a captain), brought us out a special free dessert for our anniversary. It was sorbets, fruits, and sauces...with a little chocolate that said "Happy Anniversary" on it over and over. And we also tried the spice cake that came with kumquats while we drank our coffee.

Delicious. That place was a real treat, really special.

Off to the show!
Hopped into a cab, and he wasn't familiar with Lakeshore Theater, so I gave him the corner it was close too. He said "Ahh, going to see Blue Man?" I smiled real big and happily told him "No! We are going to see Puppetry of the Penis!" He said nothing more.

The place is an old movie theater. It was full, there were empty seats in the back, it only seats 340. A couple of bachleorette parties were there, I think about 3. Some gay guys, some girl/guy dates, some older couples, one gay guy next to us brought his parents and bought them a book telling them how to do a lot of the tricks.

The opener was a local comedian, Patty Vasquez. She was funny, she even kicked a drunk guy out that wouldn't shut up.
The Penis guys were both Australian. They used to do this at local pubs for laughs and free beers.
They did some stuff most guys could do. They just had very stretchy balls and penises. And by pulling or twisting them they would make stuff.
Snail, Lock Ness, Hamburger, wind sail, mushroom, brain, hemoroid....
It wasn't amazing or great, but it was fun. And just one of those things...that its fun to say you went to and saw.

So we had an elegant dinner last night, and this morning I woke up earlier to bring Brad breakfast and the paper in bed. I brought him White Castles. :)
Ok, back to bed for this snot head.....

Happy Anniversary wishes for my honey bunny

AND............
AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Sunny is pregnant again!!!!

Congratulations!!!

AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Brad got me an anniversary gift that came in today!!!!!

Canon PowerShot S200 2MP Digital ELPH Camera w/ 2x Zoom


I am so excited!!
It's so light and small, I can take it with me all the time...everywhere.
It even fits in a shirt pocket!
IT HAS ZOOM!!!

AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

When I lived in Cleveland at about 5 years old, I used to pick flowers like Queen Anne's Lace to give to my mother and the old lady that lived next door to us. Leave them on the door step, ring the doorbell and then run so I could peek and watch them.
I think my mother told me thats what you do on May Day.
But she also told me I am supposed to rub an eggplant skin on a wart and bury it in the backyard to get rid of it.

A few years ago, back when we lived in Ohio, something wrapped in newspaper was on our front porch. I was afraid to touch it. I expected it to be a dead animal or dog poop or something like that. I kept kicking at it to peek inside.
After pushing and kicking it a bit, it saw that it was dead shriveled up flowers that someone picked and left on my porch for me, that sat out for a day until I saw it and was dead by then.
I laughed. I totally forgot about May Day, from when I was 6.
I think they did it the following year too.
One of the kids across the street I think.