Yesterday was Tiff's b-day. I think Jeff and I did a good job.
People were over until 2am. She was happy.

Thinking about seeing La Scala tonight at Metro. They are supposed to play at 10 and if you go before 10:30ish you are supposed to get in free.

Tomorrow want to spend time with Brent for his birthday, see what he wants to do. Ribfest, movies....

Sunday I am gonna spend the night with Jill. Maybe spend time with her in her shop on Sunday then do dinner and hang out.

Monday her shop is closed. So just a hang out day. Then I have a 2pm doctor appt to look at the swelling I took pictures of. They said if it gets soft its seroma (a fluid pocket that is not being absorbed back into the body) and they will drain it with a needle if that is the case. Its kinda soft, I can tell there is fluid in there, but its not waterbed sloshy, just softish, and its not a lot but its been there for at least 5 days like that and hasnt absorbed. So I called and explained it all, plus I am glad they will take a look and do whatever needs to be done because I leave next weekend for almost a week to Atlanta, so need to have it taken care of now.

Look at more condos on Tues. Nervous. All the things I need to do to get my own place, all the things I dont have and need to purchase to get settled. What can I comfortably afford? What if I get a place and get fired or downsized? Shit happens.

Big rains today, lots of flooding trees blown down...and I'm out looking for condos to purchase. :)

I got my half of our savings account and was gonna at least open a Money Market account with it but found an even better deal I am really happy about. 11 month risk free CD with 4.41 interest and an annual percentage yield of 4.50. After 6 days I can take out all the money with no penalty if I want, and otherwise it will rollover every 11 months, and if it is ever no longer risk free they will tell me 30 days ahead of time and I can find something else to do with it.

Then I had an appt with a realtor to look at condos in Logan Square. Liked some, and loved loved loved one. But...the one I loved is a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom, and a little over what I had in mind to spend, but I am still trying to figure out what I can afford, and maybe I can. Everything was all brand new, big jacuzzi tub, brightly colored rooms, lots of windows. So now I need to crunch numbers on what my monthly expenses are, how much I can put down now. Can I put more down later or would it be better to just pay extra each month and have it go towards the principal rather then refinance?

Had a good pain day, not as sore as I have been, but need to rest up and not push it so I can keep it this way.

Tomorrow is grocery and laundry day.

Saw Red Elvises at Fitzgeralds tonight.

Good fun show. Crowd was really into it. Everybody was buying them drinks. Good good fun. I even got a chance to tell Oleg "Hi from Nicky in Montreal" (Technodoll) and he said he remembers hanging out with her in the 90's and had fond memories, so we drank a drink to her.

Took this one this morning, sitting outside at Starbucks. I think this guy was trying to show me his ballsack




This is Bishu, the house dog where I am staying. (current wallpaper on cellphone)




and Brad sent me this one today of Mitch

No more tubes in me, still a bit emotional but it could just be pms.
Got upset yesterday because my clothes dont fit me...to swollen and I wore fitted clothes.
And I dont want to wear my shirts too tight cause I am self conscious about my breasts since they are still a bit wonky.

So I bought some cheap loose fitting clothes at Target and Old Navy yesterday just to get me through the next few months. Swelling can take awhile to go down. In my normal body I think I have actually lost weight (haven't weighed myself in months) my jawline looks to be sticking out more.

Had a dr appt. yesterday and got stitches taken out and one of the two drainage tubes pulled out.
Hurt like a mofo! Oddly enough thats supposed to be good, means I am healing fast they said. Most women dont feel as much as I do....lucky bitches!!
The tube the pulled out is about 10 inches inside me, and its twice the width of the tube on the outside part of me, flattens out and has lots of holes to take in drainage stuff. It burned bad for 15 minutes but feel so much better now that it out. Weds at 4:30pm I get the last one out. They recommended I take a vicodin 1 hour before my appt. I can shower now, (just keep the one hip tube out of the water) so the steri-strips will start to loosen and fall off soon.

She showed me techniques for massage the implants to keep them moving around (back and forth) and then pushing down on them. She did hers twice a days for 15 min...I can do that.

Most of the pain I am feeling is from the tube inside me and the bruising around it. So only a little more time and I will start to feel a little more normal.

I have been very emotional and sensitive lately. I think its mostly from just not being right, ya know the tubes, the pain, not my normal body and feeling. Still a little tired from the healing and being slowed down from it all. I mean it has only been 12 days since the surgery...so actually I am doing quite kick ass.

Spent the weekend at Starbucks Jills. Slept on her sofa, had a bathroom right there and watched ETV all weekend. It was just too hot this weekend and I was slowing down, had worn myself walking too much the week before and it was catching up with me and really hurting. The rest did me good.

Determined to go see the Red Elvises at Fitzgeralds this Saturday. :)

Doing better today.
I will be even better when the drainage tubes are out, and then super better when my one boob starts to fall into place.

I have been wearing the ace bandage since my doc appt non-stop. It squishes me when I sleep so that when I wake up I have to take deep breaths and stretch out my lungs and chest.

I am feeling better because I shaved my own legs today, and then moisturized. Also I drove (just around the corner PROMISE!) to Super Target to buy a few things, walked a few blocks to Starbucks and sat out with the sun on my back (felt really good since my back has been hurting), and today was the first day I have put on makeup since my surgery last Thursday. These things make me feel better, more human. Getting back to normal things even though I am draining bodily fluids into and fanny pack that I wear. :)

Woke up with a start tonight at 1:30 ( had to do some work soon anyway) Sounded like car crunching, then people yelling, I thought I heard light car crunches earlier. When I heard the yelling I shot out of bed, don't know how the fuck I did it...and it did hurt after the fact. (but not that bad considering) I was so worried about my cute little red car!! I park back there! So I got up and went out back to peep. I could see most of my car and it looked fine, but I didn't bring my keys and I woulda gotten locked out so I could only try to stretch my legs to see all of it. Cops were there, people in handcuffs and yelling. I think someone said something about one guy hitting the other guys car earlier making it sound like he hit the other guys car harder later in retaliation (not sure). The old white guy from the building across comes out with his wallet to put in his 2 cents and took the opportunity to yell and swear at the handcuffed people and tell them what animals they were. Which is a fucking joke because he is the same guy that flicks his lit cigarettes at girls when they walk by from his patio...talk about animals. (No, he hasn't done this to me yet and I am just waiting for him to!!! Cause I will go ape shit and go dive into the dumpster across from him and start throwing trash at him and his patio!)

So went back up, did my work and waited for everything to die down and people to leave. Then moved my car up to the front side of the apartment. Don't want to lay in worry about my little sweet car. It is unharmed and untouched. WHEW!

Tomorrow I think I am gonna try washing my hair in the kitchen sink.

Back at the apartment in Logan Square since yesterday afternoon.
Cant sleep. Been up since 2am, going thru mail, paying bills and making lists.
Drinking a chocolate Boost high protein drink.
Had my first post-op appt yesterday.
The unwrapping/unveiling.

Backstory:
I lost a lot of weight several years ago.
I look fine in clothes, but hate the way I look naked. Everything just sags.
Just got done getting my boobs lifted and small implants, and a tummy tuck.

Back to today:
My boobs are hard and misshapen.
They told me I need to massage them so they drop into place.
This has me very concerned. I am not sure how normal this is or is not.
I have stitches in, wearing a sports bra, and a very tight ace bandage across the top of my chest to push my tits down into place.

They have me in this compression suit that I got got so aggravated with I cut the back out and legs off last night, so sick and tired of this dirty disgusting thing I've had to wear. It's holding my stomach in and drainage tubes in place.
Yes...drainage tubes.
I have 2.
I had the pain pack tubes pulled out yesterday but have to make an appt for Monday to have the stitches taken out and a drainage tube pulled (worried how much that will hurt) and then have to go back for the other one.
I am a disgusting mess.
I stopped taking the vicodin and muscle relaxers since early yesterday.

I hurt, I am tired, I ache all over, tired of being only able to sleep on my back, my back hurts.

However after all this whining and complaining this is actually much better then I was doing.
The first 3 days after surgery (it was on Thursday) I was eating or drinking and mom almost took me to the hospital cause I couldn't hold down water. The longer it went on the harder it was to eat or even drink anything but eventually I did. I got some water in on Saturday afternoon and it stayed down, then had some chick soup mom microwaved up at a nearby White Hen for me. Wasn't eating/drinking much but it was a good start.
Yesterday we checked out of the hotel, had the doctor appt, and ran a bunch of errands, I walked slow and scuffled but we did a lot, and then I still didnt sleep but 3 hours and sat up and started doing more this morning. Maybe I will sleep later today.

Holed up in the apartment with my nasty drainage tubes, but determined I will walk/drive to a nearby Target today or tomorrow to get a few more things (probably drive since its hard to carry) and I need to bother Jeff about making an extension on the ceiling fan light switch so I can pull the light off but leave the fan on (its too high for me to reach right now)

As you can read I am also pissy....pissy because I really thought I was invincible. I AM A FUCKING SUPERHERO!!! and I am finding out I am not.... :(

Finally saw the movie Shortbus with Brent on Monday night after checking out a local Thai place. Really liked it. Him and his roommate have a huge list of several hundreds of movies.

Last night went to Green Mill to see the regulars Deep Blue. They guy I was with used to play there, so we got in free and had free drinks. The bar is really cool, Im not a big jazz fan, but it was nice. Reminds me of eating BBQ (The Linwood) sitting on the curb in front of Pat Crooks trailer back in Columbus.

Got to hear a lot of back stories about the place, the trap door behind the bar from the prohibition days, the meaning of the limerick written up on the wall about Joe E Lewis. Lots of visiting Europeans coming because its known as Al Capone's hangout.